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Insights for Constructive Living
by Pat Iannuzzi
What if you had an important goal you wanted to accomplish in the next few months, and you knew you absolutely could not fail? I think you would agree that you would probably achieve it. But what if you desired to achieve something you weren’t so confident about? Would that be as likely to happen? Probably not. I think the reason for this has to do with our attitudes regarding the challenges and barriers that stand in the path of our accomplishments.
All obstacles to success present a potential for failure and the emotional pain that is usually associated with it. If we believe we have the ability to effectively handle a particular challenge, we will generally sail through unafraid. On the other hand, if we don’t possess the confidence to successfully deal with it, we will be fearful of the undesirable consequences that may result. This fear can be so powerful that it can hold us back from even trying. Tragically such fears can dramatically limit our potential for success and happiness
Clearly, we all face limitations every day that restrict the achievement of our goals. Otherwise each of us would already have all of the wonderful things we want. Limitations, however, come in two basic varieties – real and imagined – and it often can be difficult to recognize the difference between the two. The tragedy is that whether limitations are actual or imagined, our bodies respond as if they are real, and we act and react accordingly.
Many limitations clearly are real. I’m never going to run a four-minute mile, for example, but I also know that I have some perceived limitations about my capabilities that I may be totally wrong about. If you take a moment to think about it, perhaps you have some too. However, whether valid or not, these apparent limitations tend to prevent us from attempting certain things simply out of the fear that we may fail.
For this reason we usually tend to focus more on the potential negative outcomes of a challenge than on the potential benefits. Our perceived fear of failing completely overwhelms any anticipation of the thrill of accomplishment. We allow the fear of failure to paralyze us even though most of the time we have no clear evidence or justification for why we will not succeed in a specific endeavor.
A helpful approach to avoid this trap would be to ask ourselves, “What’s the worst that can happen if I don’t succeed?” On careful reflection we would probably find the answer wouldn’t be as devastating as we might have imagined. A better question would be, “What would be the benefits if I do succeed?” I think that if we apply these questions to some seemingly ambitious undertaking, most of the time we would probably find the actual risks associated with the endeavor might be quite minimal in comparison to our potential gain.
So empower yourself. Before you decide not to pursue something you really want, ask yourself these two questions. You might be pleasantly surprised at how your confidence level will increase. It really all boils down to the simple idea put forth by Henry Ford, “Whether you think you can or whether you think you can’t, you’re right.”
Pat Iannuzzi of Symbiont Performance Group, Inc. is a performance consultant, trainer and coach focusing on selling, presentation and interpersonal skills. He lives in Litchfield and can be reached at 860-283-9963 or piannuzzi@symbiontnet.com.
